Snakes on a Trail!

Governor Perry to no one in particular: "Why exactly are there snakes on this trail? Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday jog!"

I'm not sure what to think. Either Rick Perry is a big fat wuss afraid of small reptiles, or we've got a serious security issue keeping our duly elected governor from being bitten by poisonous snakes on a daily basis.

Perry told The Associated Press on Tuesday he needed just one shot from the laser-sighted pistol he sometimes carries while jogging to take down a coyote that menaced his puppy during a February run near Austin.

Perry said he will carry his .380 Ruger – loaded with hollow-point bullets – when jogging on trails because he is afraid of snakes. He'd also seen coyotes in the undeveloped area.

"I knew there were a lot of predators out there. You'll hear a pack of coyotes. People are losing small cats and dogs all the time out there in that community," Perry said.

"They're very wily creatures."

On this particular morning, Perry said, he was jogging without his security detail shortly after sunrise.

What a manly man, taking out Wile E. Coyote in just one shot. The article claims Perry was packing a pistol in his belt (he wishes), but I bet he stashed it in his man purse or fanny pack.

The only predator I'm interested in taking out Perry is Bill White. In the meantime, maybe he needs to get a mother @#$%^&* treadmill for his mother @#$%^&* mansion.