Next Up For Bush: Clubbing Baby Seals

After vetoing the S-CHIP bill in a signing ceremony in a coat closet at the White House today, Bush emerged - with a wire hanger around his neck, leading to speculation that oxygen to his brain had been cut off more than usual - to hold a press conference. He announced that next he would push for bipartisan legislation to promote the clubbing of baby seals.

When asked, "what about the persistent rumors about the Drowning Kittens Act of 2007?", Bush replied that indeed that is one of his legislative priorities. He signaled that his lap dog, John Cornyn, was prepared to fight for that in the Senate.

In a closing statement, Bush told reporters, "You really believed I was a compassionate conservative? Yall are pathetic."