We Gather Today In The Name of Tom DeLay

I want to go to one of these gatherings tonight! Republicans are meeting at opposite ends of TX-22 to carefully and deliberately ponder their non-existant chances of winning the Congressional seat.

Hey, wait! The streets are safe! We could do a run on Nooky's Exotic Bakery (I finally drove by that just yesterday!) and party in the streets. Well, in between flag burning and gay marriage ceremonies.

The Chronicle claims 150 Republican precinct chairmen (yes, the article said "chairmen" - no girls allowed?) will be at the official, RPT sanctioned, super-secret-handshake-required gathering at the Baptist Church in Pearland to select a write-in candidate, who will join a host of other write-ins (goal: give the voter choices!). But, the fearless leader of the Fort Bend Republican Party, Gary Gillen, exterminator to the stars, is having his own back room meeting of Fort Bend Republicans tonight, also. You have to understand that this guy also sent out a whiny letter to candidates for the TX-22 seat to PLEASE, pretty PLEASE not attend the Pearland meeting.

Here's what is happening at Gillen's meeting Thursday night:

Subj: Candidate Workshop
Date: 8/7/2006 5:08:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: {chairman@fortbendgop.org}
To: Gary Gillen (e-mail removed)
Cc: Janice Gillen (e-mail removed)

Dear Candidate, Party Officer or Club President:

PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS COMMUNICATION

You have received this e-mail because you are a candidate, officer of the Party or you are a club president or individual with specific duties.

The job of the Republican Party is to get our candidates elected! To that end we need to discuss the upcoming campaign and how the Party can help. I would like to keep the meeting small so please do not share this with others. This will be our chance to have a frank, honest discussion.

I would like to have a meeting of candidates, Party officers and club presidents on Thursday, August 17th at 6pm at the Pecan Grove Country Club. If you choose to eat dinner, there will be a pasta, soup and salad bar for $15 per person (tax and gratuity included). This includes tea, coffee and water. You are not obligated to eat but please remember that the Country Club is giving us the room free so eating will show them that we appreciate their kindness.

In order to prepare food, they ask that we give them a count in advance so please let me know as soon as possible if you can attend and if you will eat.

In this meeting I would like to discuss:
1. Over 65 Ballot by Mail mailing
2. Republican Party Signs
3. Bags for neighborhood walk brochures
4. Newsletter
5. Headquarters -Linda Hancock
6. Neighborhood Walk Volunteers
7. Fort Bend County Fair Parade (floats)
8. Harvest Fest Parade (floats)
9. Fort Bend Fair Booth-Paul Ware
10. Harvest Fest Booth
11. Sign teams
12. Phones at Headquarters
13. By-Laws and their effect on the Chair
14. Help from state party
15. How Clubs can help candidates
16. Others issues of interest to candidates.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU CAN ATTEND AND IF YOU WILL EAT SO WE CAN INFORM THE COUNTRY CLUB.

Thank you,
Gary

Gary Gillen,Chairman
Republican Party of Fort Bend County

I guess I was forwarded this communication because I am an individual with specific duties.

Muse duties (specified):
1. make fun of Republicans in Fort Bend County
2. make fun of Republicans in all other parts of TX-22
3. report on the chaos of the Republican leadership in TX-22 to good Democrats who live far, far away from here (Austin).

Look back at the list above to #13. Poor Gillen. What horrible effect are those nasty by-laws having on you? Breaking out in hives, are you? You thought you were going to be Thode the Second, but instead, the Chronicle calls you just plain old Guy. Just a guy who can't lick a stamp without permission from the precinct chairs.