Just When We Thought It Couldn't Get More Hilarious in TX-22

If you aren't reading Juanita, why not? If you are, you know that Fort Bend County Commissioner Republican Andy Meyers has become all freaked out about a billboard for Nooky's Erotic Bakery. He's convinced it violates the county's sexually oriented business ordinance (which it doesn't). This, from a press release he issued: When Nooky's Erotic Bakery opened its doors, I sought to have it closed because I believed that it did not comply with our SOB Ordinance. Our County Attorney's office and Sheriff's Office disagreed with my "interpretation" of SOB. The County Attorney's Office claims that the "primary" business of the erotic bakery is food, not sexual titillation, and therefore it does not fall under the SOB Ordinance. I still disagree with that interpretation, but it is the sheriff, with the assistance of the county attorney, who enforces the SOB Ordinance, not Commissioners Court. The State Legislature in its infinite wisdom has not seen fit to give counties authority to regulate "billboards" in the county. As such, the county can do nothing about the billboard. My office has contacted the state inquiring about what the state can do if anything. The response is the state does not regulate billboard content, unless it is specifically pornographic. The only thing my complaints accomplished is the bakery frosted its windows so young kids walking by could not see the images on the cakes, etc. If anyone wants a copy of the county's "Sexual Oriented Business" Ordinance, he/she can get a copy from our County Attorney's Office at (281) 341-4555. Yes, friends, he used the word "titillation" in his press release. This whole deal remindes me of typical GOP sexual frustration issues. That's just one person's opinion. Mine. (Well, and Juanita's, apparently.) On to the next round of hilarity with Mr. Meyers. According to Fort Bend Now, Meyers is putting his name in the hat to run for Tom DeLay's congressional seat! Hallelujah! Someone who is going to save our souls from sexually depraved billboards wants to be our congressman. This from Fort Bend Now: Concerned that the only candidate with district-wide name recognition has dropped out of the race to replace resigning U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay on the ballot, Fort Bend County Precinct 3 Commissioner Andy Meyers has decided to run for the Congressional District 22 seat.

“After talking to my family and a number of other people…I decided to make a run at it,” Meyers said Friday.

He said he checked with the Texas Attorney General’s office, to see whether he’d legally be required to step down as commissioner, but will not have to. If he was running in a primary, general or special election, Meyers said, he would have to resign his current office.

Meyers said he starting thinking about running for Congress once Harris County Judge Robert Eckels decided against running.

“Once I felt the guy who had all the name recognition and could win for the Republican Party” dropped out, “I tried to see who we could get behind,” Meyers said.

He feels District 26 State Rep. Charlie Howard was a strong contender “but the sense I was getting” was that Howard is not well known outside Fort Bend County, “where I’ve appeared at functions in Galveston County and Brazoria County and Harris County quite often. I thought that would be somewhat helpful.”

So, all of yall outside of Fort Bend County, you've heard of Meyers, right? Thought not.

I wish this could go on forever!